LOVE
Every 1 December is World Aids Day. A day of bringing awareness to those who are affected by AIDS.
I see everyday as world aids day. I use to live in the New York City clubs back in the day. I partied with famous people that I see on tv to this day. It was a fast paced, high energized life but a darkness lived in the background. One by one loved ones were losing lots of weight. Many of us did not know what it was. When the term AIDS was used people were afraid of those who were dying in the hospital. Nurses were afraid to go into their rooms. Family members stopped visiting. I visited my friends, I ran to the hospital in pajamas because I got the call and I wanted to see them one more time before they left this world. AIDS did not care if you were rich, poor, white, black, gay, married. Friends of mine worked hard to raise money, marched in parades…the AIDS rate went down and now it up again.
What happened?
We were not talking about love. What happens at the end of a club night, when someone asks you to go home with them to get intimate? Do you say “yes” or “no”? Do you stop to ask the person if they have been tested for HIV or are you too afraid of hurting the persons feeling? Hey they asked you go home so they must be HIV negative, right? Wrong. Denial causes the spread of AIDS. Lack of self-love causes the spread. If you truly love yourself and felt connected to people, you could not risk another life. Love makes you not afraid of rejection if you speak up. Love makes wives have open discussions with their husbands (or husbands have open discussions with their wives) that extramarital affairs and unprotected sex can be deadly. Denial is that thought that “It can’t happen to me”. Denial is that belief that it happens to “Other” people. Love is when we get over our discomfort in talking about AIDS and tell our teenagers the truth. Love is telling people that it is okay to be alone with yourself until you find someone who respects and love you. But that love first starts with you.
I have buried so many friends as a result of AIDS. I have attended the funeral of those who are black, white, gay, married. AIDS do not care who you are. It really doesn’t. Maybe we can start having more discussions about love. That we give ourselves that inner love so that we do not have to go looking on the outside. This is not about judgment. It is about taking a quiet moment to think about the impact.
I am alive today because I said, “no” a lot back then (still do). Some of those who asked me to be intimate with them are now dead as a result of AIDS.
I loved my friends who have left this world. I had vacationed with them, danced with them. I remember a friend saying to me before he died, “I love you Lori”. I said, “I love you too William, you may go now. It is good.” I could smell death. I walked out of the hospital room and collapsed on the floor. He died that night leaving a wife and two kids. I knew he died, knowing that I loved him. That his friends and family loved him. He was one of many that I lost as a result of AIDS.
If you have not been tested, please get tested. Please practice safe sex. Please speak up for yourself in that moment of decision.
I know this is a heavy post. It is something so dear to my heart. I had to share this with you. I hope that you share it with others.
LOVE, let’s talk about it.
